What Do I Wanna Be When I Grow Up?

All this time off has forced me to really sit down and figure out what the hell I want to be when I grow up. It's probably an outgrowth of my turning 40—which, I'm shocked and a bit horrified to realize, is about 60 days away! Holy crap! Should I have a party? Should I run and hide?—but it's still a weird concept for me. I mean, I just a few months ago realized what I don't wanna do:

• Work in your average "corporate American" office. The need to look busy cuz otherwise you're not productive pisses me off.
• Work with more God-complex technology people. Grown up geeks tend to really exude that holier-than-thou vibe; look, it's not my fault you were geeky in adolescence and couldn't find a girlfriend and/or beer/other drug. I did and turned out (relatively) fine. Take your "my kung-fu iz teh hax0r and u r lame" and peddle it to some beta-male geek. I'll likely as not insult you or just kick your ass. Cuz I can. And cuz plenty of other people who know you would applaud if I did.
• Work a technology job like it means something to me other than a paycheck; tech jobs have done fine by me in the money area, but they don't feed my soul and I've realized in the past few months that my soul is fuckin starvin! It drove me out of my last job in search of sustsustenance...

So, what do I wanna do? That was what the wine class and the voiceover class were for. And, I gotta tell ya, the wine stuff strikes a chord in me. And not just cuz you get paid to drink wine, either (although that is a nice perk). I can see myself as a wine curator (that's the person who stocks the wine cellar; well, more than that, but it's as into the topic as I'll get here) for somewhere like Cru or Craft. That would really rock my world, I think. If only I could figure out a way to get something like that going. See, I have too much accumulated stuff and debt to just drop everything and do that. I need a plan. And a job..... But, I guess I've got step 1 (get a job) and step 2 (make a career change plan), which is better off than I was 3 months ago.... Man, there's a change in me evident right there: a year ago, I'd be all pissin n moanin about shit and not be able to see a positive or bright side. So change is possible! Amazing!