Well, it's been a hell of a year. Lots of changes, pretty much all of them good. I've had a huge number of realizations —I can't really describe them any other way—and have, it seems, almost daily made connections about myself and life that have eluded me til this year. It's been great, but it's also kicked my ass. I doubt that the next year (or the years to follow) will lessen my revelatory pace, but I'm exhausted. It' been a trying year, as well, what with the loss of my job and the associated stress (nothing like coming to the very edge of the waterfall, only to see a lifeline and grab it); it's exhilarating, sure, but I'm tired in a way that I haven't been for years. Like since high school.
Speaking of high school, this year's been a lot like a rehash of that. A lot like a condensed version of high school, actually. Strange dating experiences (often, I would find myself thinking, "what am I doing here again?"), some angst (mostly about getting older and the feeling that my life was somehow over, even though it was really only starting), confusion about a boundless number of subjects, but mostly about what I'm going to do with my life, (starting over again, it turns out, but that's the same as starting out; it's actually more daunting, cuz you realize how many places you can fail, which is knowledge you don't possess the first time out) and then graduation and the boundless sense of freedom and possibilities that comes with that.
There's still a lot I have to figure out, but I'm looking forward to it, probably really for the first time in my life. There's a lot of folks I need to thank, a lot of people whom I'm thankful to know and to have in my life. I have never been one to want to live someone else's life or even change the life I've had and now is no exception. I can only ope to get a moment's respite so that I can recharge and bash on in the year ahead. It's gonna be a hell of a ride and I can't wait!