My Moment of Doubt

You know it when it happens to you: that moment, however fleeting, where you ask yourself, "what the fuck am I doing here, really?" Or, "do I really wanna be doing this?"

It happened to me a few weeks ago, while I was sitting in wine class doing a series of blind tastings. Out of 6 wines, I had correctly identified one: a fino sherry. It wasn't hard: straw-colored, oxidized smell—if you've ever had/smelled sherry, you know the smell: nutty, "off" smelling wine—and that was all I got. So depressing.

Here I was, I thought, having decided that some aspect of wine was going to be in my future, and my palette was limited (and seemingly off), my eye for wine was seemingly faulty (I have come to find out since then that I'm slightly color-blind (pink-green, to be precise)), so things on that end are a bit better) and I was just sitting in this room, filled with people from all over the wine spectrum—distributors, bar managers (from, like Per Se at the Time-Warner Center!), etc., etc.—and I've been doing wine work seriously for about seven months. Who was I kidding?

I've stayed in the class, although there was a point where I thought I might drop out and/or take it later, and after a night like last night, I'm happy that I've stuck with it. I was en fuego last night with regard to getting people wines they liked/wanted. Of course, being the people person that I am (what Aquarian isn't? :) helps, but apparently the overwhelming amount of information I must learn and keep around for instantaneous recall is actually sinking in, as I was waltzing through the French section last night pulling wines for folks. I really, really enjoy dealing with people and helping them find wines that are to their taste.

So, my enthusiasm & energy for wine are back and I'm seriously thinking about doing my Masters of Wine. IF I pass my exam at the end of April, that is! :)